Dear Mr. Benz,

                I could remember vividly that very day you sent your wedding invitation to me when I was still in my first year as an undergraduate. The news was like a bomb, filled with surprise to many of our guys like Michael, Philip, John, and Stephen. Indeed, they all honoured your invitation except my humble self and you knew why I was not there at the wedding.  You might be surprised to see this letter coming from me at this point in time. Yes, I deemed it worthy to write to you. It is just to remind you of certain things that you may have forgotten. If you have not forgotten them, then, they would serve as a source of encouragement to you. L

                Marriage has many definitions depending on culture, race, nationality and the like. But one thing that is common in all the definitions is that marriage is a legally recognised union between two persons as partners in a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP. Before you got married, life was a free world for you. You were doing things according to your own taste and like. You were ruling your world the way you liked it. You used to go out when you wanted, to where you wanted and come back when you wanted. You had the freedom to move with any lady you liked all in the name of searching for the right person. It was funny then but I knew someday, you would change for good. I could remember that very day, I paid you a visit when you were in Lagos. I told you that, “Ladies are not clothes you can change anytime and anyhow you want. Those attitudes may influence your life when you will finally decide to settle down with the right partner.” I will say that from your own experience, life had proved itself undetermined and unpredictable. You were so lucky to find a woman like your wife. A woman filled with sincere love and respect to the core for you. I really don’t know what you did to win her heart.

                Don’t forget that your wife is there to complement you and not to supplement you. Treat her with respect just the way you will like her to treat you. Never you see her as a housewife but see her as your partner. Know that you are now in a different world. Before you take any decision, you must involve her because now you are not alone. Make her understand how much you love her and always appreciate her efforts no matter how little it may be. Give or create time to be with your family.

I know sometimes it is difficult to strike a balance between office work and family in terms of time. But you must give priority to your family first. Your family should come first in everything. Be humble to accept when you are wrong and don’t let the same thing repeat itself again. Learn to say, “I am sorry,” whenever you are at fault. Don’t ever remind her of her weaknesses as a form of mild insult. Such an attitude kills like a poison.

 You don’t go out whenever you want and come back whenever you want. No, it will not work this time around, unless you don’t have the happiness of your home at heart. Learn to go out with her especially for any social gathering.

Don’t ever raise your hand on her. That should be the last thing you will ever do to her in life. In moments of misunderstanding, keep quiet and treat the matter later when anger must have subsided. Many times, you will not understand the sacrifice she is making just to make you and the children happy, without even having time for her own self. Don’t ever insult her indirectly about her body shape. Women haste this with passion. When you tell her such, it is an indirect way of telling her that all her efforts mean nothing to you. If you could still remember when you married her newly, she was not like that. The striped marks on her body, the accumulation of fat around her hip after given birth to your children, which are not making her look fit and sexy on her wears, etc were as a result of her not having time to relax herself. All her time is been dedicated to you, to the children, and to the house.  I promise you, the very day she will leave, you will be surprised to see how sexy she will be looking because by then she would have enough time to take good care of herself. I am not praying for such to happen likewise you. Don’t complain that she is not looking gorgeous and pretty like other women outside. Who knows if she is trying to save some cash for the house upkeep? You can’t tell, you may even discover it late. Try to avoid any suspicious acts. As a married man, certain relationships should be avoided with outsiders, especially with the opposite sex. Yes, you have to cut off from certain friends because not all will surely be of good to you as long as your family is concerned. You may be lucky to have good friends both male and female, but be careful to whom you tell your problems and seek advice.

Please, do send my greetings to your wife. She is really a gift nature has given you and I will like you to handle it with love and passion. The great Benz!!!

BY: Sylvester Jude

Published by Chinedu ikechukwu

A writer, a teacher and a comedian.

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